Have you ever stood in front of a mirror and
loved the girl staring back at you?
Stand in front of the mirror that hangs
in the back of your closet, hidden by years
of self loathing and baggy clothes.
Stand there for as long as it takes
for a kind word to leave your lips and
the dark thoughts to disappear.
Stand there until you can whisper
“I love you” to the girl staring back at you,
so afraid of the way that you talk to her.
Treat your reflection
as you would treat a small child;
with love and kindess and patience.
Shower her in compliments, repeat them over
and over as if you are a mockingbird
who repeats each birdsong that it hears;
and make sure that every song is a good one.
Take out a felt tip pen and
connect each freckle on your body,
tracing over the curves of your hips until
you believe that you are as lovely
as Degas’ dancers.
Paint the universe as van Gogh saw it
on the palms of your hands
and kiss the places where the paint cracks
over your lifelines
until you are sure that you are alive.
Stand in front of that godforsaken mirror
until you know that you are not your reflection.
Then take that fucking scale that you
weigh yourself with each morning without thinking,
like a Christian prays to their God each night,
whispering “Please. Let me be pretty.”
and throw that scale at that mirror until it shatters,
a thousand pieces of broken glass
scattered over the ground, spelling out the words:
You are beautiful."
my mom more or less came to terms with my relahionship with Bee.
Sarah Chen | Moments Awaking From Dreams
You say you loved a person you shouldn’t have loved
Your heart is filled with scars
You say you committed a wrong you shouldn’t have committed
Your heart is filled with bitter remorse
You say you’ve fully tasted life’s sufferings
Unable to find a person whom you can trust
You say you feel extremely disheartened
To the point that you’ve begun to doubt human life
Already known that heartbreak is always inevitable
There is no reason for you to cherish a long and lasting affection
Because love is always “loath to part”
Why do you take to heart that tiny little bit of gentleness?
You should know that heartbreak is always inevitable
In every moment you awake from dreams
There are some things you need not ask right now
There are some people you need never wait for
This song is one of my favorites from when I was little.
It played in the car today while I was out with my mother, and she sang it the way she always sang it when I was a baby.
I came out to her again, and even though she’s old-fashioned and has a hard time wrapping her head around my relationship, she told me “I will never not want you as my daughter”
She wants to meet Bee
Tomorrow I’m going to confront my mom about my relationship with Bee.
When she found out three years ago, she and my dad both freaked and some really bad stuff followed…but we’ve repaired our relationship since then quite a bit. Granted, a lot of the peace was under the pretext of me “no longer dating a girl”, but I’m pretty sure my mom knows I lied.
Things have improved so much with both my brothers and they love Bee and want to meet her now, so they’re going to help me “come out” to my mom a second time…try to really fix this family because I’m so sick of lying and I’m so sad that I had to make my brothers lie for me too.
I’m terrified but strangely optimistic.. please pray for me or send me good vibes.
Don’t deceive yourself
the sound of your honest tears
(even if they strike me like lightning)
will always be sweeter
than your forced silence
It amazes me how slowly time passed when we were together,
as if every minute took a little longer because they knew we needed five years worth of love in one week
Maybe it was the way my heart stopped every time you glanced at me or how my breath caught in my throat when you stroked my hairline
I could feel the air grow thick like we were submerged under dry water
every synapse stalling to soak up your presence,
like my body knew to take its time with you
Or perhaps the hours became sedated from the warmth off our cheeks,
from our quiet laughter,
and came to a gentle halt when our lips touched
and I counted, you know,
I counted the seconds while you slept,
laying beside you in the dark, the sluggish ticks from the clock matched your steady breathing,
until they disappeared entirely
and I joined you in timeless bliss
It amazes me
how time means nothing when we’re together,
yet here I am waiting indefinitely
counting the seconds
until I can hold you again
Lupita Nyong’o covers DuJour Magazine photographed by Stephen Pan Styled by David Vandewal
THIRTY-TWO MODELS OF DIFFERENT ETHNICITIES AND BACKGROUNDS.
things wrong with the sex positivity movement:
- white women telling women of color to reclaim the word slut. we’re already either hypersexualized or desexualized and tbh we dont even have the luxury of being able to ~*~reclaim~*~ slurs like that
- sex posi feminists dont care about survivors of rape or sexual assault and they definitely dont care enough to examine how complicated sex can be for a person
- if you personally choose not to have sex, you’re automatically “slut shaming”
- assuming that all religions are extremely harmful and therefore evil (mostly white feminists giving bullshit criticisms about islam)
- KINK SHAMING- seriously stop trying to defend pedophiles and racists with master/slave fantasies
- the notion that sex is necessary for a relationship to be meaningful or valid
- ignoring very real problems within the porn industry
- highlighting the narrative of an empowered woman choosing to do sex work rather than paying any attention to victims of sex trafficking and their stories
- downplaying the part about how sex actually does emotionally impact you
- ignoring all consequences related to mental health that could arise if someone chooses to sleep around as prescribed by the ideal sex posi lifestyle
- rushing people into sexual relationships and experimentation before theyre ready
ignoring the fact that marriage/ commitment and monogamy have very different connotations for het WOC
overrepresenting thin white cis-het women as the face of their movement
Ladakh (meaning ‘land of the passes’) is a cold desert in the Northern Indian state of Jammu and Kashmir. It is divided into the mainly Muslim Kargil district and the primarily Buddhist Leh district. The people of Ladakh have a rich folklore, some of which date back to the pre- Buddhist era.
More informations and pictures here
Say I’m 32 years old and you’re 22 years old.
In how many years will we be the same age?
Silly question, right? If you define aging as a process that stops at death, the only way we’ll ever be the same age is if I die first. If you don’t, then we’ll never be the same age. Every time you age a year, I also age a year. Since our ages increase at the same rate, you will never catch up to my head start. We have achieved a total equality of aging, but that does not change the permanent inequality of our age.
Okay, say I have a million dollars and you’re completely broke. If we both get a dollar a day, how long will it take you to catch up with me?
Now, this one’s even sillier, because if you have no other resources, your dollar a day is going to be eaten up by basic living expenses that it doesn’t quite meet, and I have an excess of money that can be spent on money-making opportunities that pay off far better than an additional $365 a year. I could literally burn the dollar I’m getting as part of our Totally Equal Income and still make more money in a year than you do just by sticking my money in the bank.
But still: both of us getting a dollar a day is totally equal, right? It means we’re being treated exactly the same.
And now, final problem:
If we have a world that contains structural inequalities, systemic imbalances, disproportionate danger faced by some, and unequal access to resources and opportunities, is “treating everyone the same” really going to result in equality?
Show your work.
Always see “real women” posts so here’s one for the dudes.
this says so much. I wish there were more posts like this. please.
body positivity and realistic body standards are important for guys too!
Men are constantly reassured that it’s okay to oogle women and harrass them about their looks. Women rarely see sexualized images of men that are made for women.
Guys get eye candy everywhere they go. Their sexual gaze is constantly catered to. Women, at least hetero women, are rarely given the opportunity to have their sexual interest entertained. We’re told that we should be okay with having nothing to look at. That our fantasies don’t matter. That we shouldn’t ever even remotely expect to be able to eyeball a svelte man in public, only behind closed doors and heaven forbid that the man look vulnerable. So we finally get to see images that turn us on and people are like, “Hey, you can’t put that in magazines! that might hurt some little boy’s feelings!”
Men are given alternative physical images to aspire to. Women are not.
While yes, guys should be treated to body positivity too… they already are. Just watch TV or any comedy and count the number of pudgy, out of shape, male leads vs pudgy, out of shape female leads. Or the number of hairy, overweight, older men making block buster movies vs the number of hairy, overweight, older women. Now count how many times that male character has some incredibly smart, sexy wife who does everything for him. And then how many times she’s the butt of the joke when he gets hot for some woman who’s younger and thinner than she is.
Fuck, just look at the responses to women not shaving their legs vs the responses to guys not shaving off their stubble.
Name six movies about a woman above the age of forty who’s love interest is a man that’s younger than she is where the plot doesn’t revolve around her being the butt of a cougar or mom joke. Now name me six where a man over the age of forty’s love interest is a woman who’s significantly younger than he is. Bonus points for action movies where anyone in the movie makes a mention of the age difference.
How many times are male politician or CEO’s body or style of dress put into question? How many times are female’s? Or has everyone forgotten how we flip out when the president’s wife gets a new hair cut? Or how Hillary Clinton had to have a FUCKING MAKE OVER before the news agencies took her seriously? How many times was her daughter raked over the coals for looking like an average teenager?
What’s more, I’ve never heard any of my female friends or my mother and her female friends saying, “Why can’t my 50 year old husband get a six pack like that?” What I USUALLY here is “I wish my husband would get a nice hair cut.” or “I wish he’d wear some nicer clothes that actually fit him.”
But what i hear overhear men saying all time is, “No fat chicks!” or “I wish my wife had bigger boobs.”
I know a woman who’s husband threatened to leave her if she didn’t get a face lift and a boob job- she was so upset that she did it. She felt disgusting every day because she wasn’t a size six and he expected her to be a size six after bearing him four kids. My own uncle said if his wife got overweight that he’d drag her behind a car until she lost weight. These aren’t even “bad guys”! They seem like perfectly nice men when you meet them! But they’re taught from the moment they’re kids that all women need to be a certain body type to be worthy of any attention.
Men are told through our culture’s stories and media that a woman will still love them unconditionally and throw themselves at them if they’re fat, old, balding, or an asshole, while women are told that if they’re pushy, fat, old or wearing out of style clothes that they aren’t even worth mentioning.
It’s also worth noting that the “male ideal” centers around them being powerful and assertive whereas the beauty standards for women center around frailty, meekness and vulnerability.
Huge difference there.
Also when I see these “average guy vs male model” posts (this is far from the being only one), there’s usually a sense of mockery— with the “average guys” exaggerating the poses or making silly faces while doing it— as if straight women’s sexual fantasies are something to laugh at.
It’s not tht apparent in this photo-set, but a very common and annoying trend on a lot of others.