We stopped freaking out about the “Oh my god, women want to wear pants!” thing a really long time ago. Women wandered into the traditionally masculine realms of self-expression and ambition and now it’s just normal.
Not so with masculinity. It is still as rigid and well defended as ever, despite a few David Bowies or Johnny Depps in the mix. Just look at last year’s total freaking meltdown about a J. Crew catalog that carried a photo of a woman painting her young son’s toenails. Just look at the way the more delicate boys of the world are bullied by their classmates and accused of being gay. Just look at the gender imbalance in the diagnosis of Gender Identity Disorder in children, with gender disordered pre-pubescent boys outnumbering girls at a rate of up to 30 to 1. When a girl is boyish, or even claims she’d rather be a boy, it’s cute. She’s a tomboy. When a boy is girlish, wanting to wear dresses or try on some makeup, it’s a mental disorder and needs an immediate medical intervention.
Q:When I first started to dress more masculine, some of my friends and family started to say things like," Your so pretty you should dress like a girl more often." Then when i finally came out, my cousin would always say that," You dress like such a boy, it's such a waste! you should be more girly." So I guess my question is, what is your opinion and have you had similar problems in the past?
Anonymous
This is a pretty common problem, and it’s really goddamn grating.
However, I have never been told that…probably because I’ve never been considered “pretty,” per se.
I only got any attention for how I looked because everyone was surprised at how well a masculine style fit me.
But I digress, I know a lot of girls or transitioning men who have been told “it’s a waste, you need to look more feminine, you’d be so gorgeous!”
Guess what.
You know my answer.
Yeeeeep.
“Fuck them.”
Seriously dude!
Who cares “how pretty you’d look”? It wouldn’t be worth it to live a lie.
And the whole point is to make you feel comfortable and “right” in your own skin.
I mean what the hell do they want? Some cookie-cutter, uncomfortable looking girl who blends in?
…yeah actually, that’s exactly what they want.
They don’t want you to make them uncomfortable because you’re different. They don’t want you to stick out. They don’t want you to have a style. They don’t want you to challenge societal norms for women.
And above all, they have an out-dated sense of “beauty.”
So fuck them, you got this.
VIRGINITY IS A SOCIAL CONSTRUCT
Virginity:
- is sexist
- is heteronormative
- commodifies sex
- commodifies young cis-het white women
- contributes to rape culture
- contributes to slut-shaming
- erases queer folk
- erases transfolk
- frames a woman’s worth as inversely proportional to the number of dicks that have been inside her
Contrary to the comments about this post, this is not an attack on people who choose to protect their virginity. What is wrong is basing a woman’s worth on what she decides to do with her own body.
Also, the level of emphasis placed on virginity nowadays takes abstinence, a simple precaution that many people take to protect themselves from being screwed over physically and emotionally, and turns it into a measure of a person’s moral value.
(via thalamtnafsee)
Source: glasscoffin
Q:You're supporting chubby girls and encourage them to love themselves, but isn't it self-deceiving and wouldn't it be better for them to lose some pounds and start feeling confident if they want it? I don't mean chubby girls are unattractive or that your support is wrong. It's just society's still REALLY harsh about that and it's hard to fight. :(
Anonymous
Have you ever thought that your view on chubby girls is what’s contributing to society being “REALLY harsh and hard to fight?”
Yes, it’s hard to fight, but is that any reason to back down?
Is that any reason for me to tell bigger girls or boys that their body is wrong? How they present themselves is wrong?
It’s hard being Gay and Muslim too, because society is really harsh on that.
Would you ever tell me to change who I am because it’s hard to fight society?
Tell me to not pray in the workplace? Tell me to dress more feminine despite how uncomfortable it makes me?
Exercising should not be an obligation to be skinny.
Exercising should be for your enjoyment and your own physical energy.
And if your health doesn’t LOOK skinny, doesn’t LOOK ideal, that’s fine.
And you know what?
If you don’t have the time or desire to exercise, that’s not my business.
I’m not gonna go around and tell people how to live their lives.
I’m not even going to “advise” them otherwise because it’s nosy and overbearing.
Even if you never agree with fat body positivity, it is NOT your place to tell someone how to live their life.
Q:How'd you react if a guy you know (not really a friend) would start commenting on how much his girlfriend's face and figure are prettier than yours? I know my looks aren't "everyone's fun" but still I'm normally considered to be good-looking, both in terms of face and body. And now I just feel insecure as fuck... like "if that guy can say it, then others can say such things too. And I've got a wish to fix smth and I can't - and I feel like an "opinion slut". Guess it's a question of confidence.
Anonymous
How would I react?
I’d call him a douchebag and go on with my life.
Is he your boyfriend? No?
Are you interested in him? No?
Then fuck him, seriously.
The problem here isn’t what he criticized you on, the problem is the fact he’s criticizing you.
Tell me what kind of person randomly comes up to you and tells you how much better his girlfriend is.
Some asshole who’s goddamn gloating, that’s what.
Some bastard that sees girls as nothing but things that need to look good for his own fucking eyeporn, that’s what.
Yeah, “if that guy can say it, then others can say such things too,” but the ones that do?
They’re not worth your time of day.
You’ve got better things to worry about, and that doesn’t include the opinion of a handful of chauvinistic pricks.
What men mean when they talk about their “crazy” ex-girlfriend is often that she was someone who cried a lot, or texted too often, or had an eating disorder, or wanted too much/too little sex, or generally felt anything beyond the realm of emotionally undemanding agreement. That does not make these women crazy. That makes those women human beings, who have flaws, and emotional weak spots. However, deciding that any behavior that he does not like must be insane– well, that does make a man a jerk.
And when men do this on a regular basis, remember that, if you are a woman, you are not the exception. You are not so cool and fabulous and levelheaded that they will totally get where you are coming from when you show emotions other than “pleasant agreement.”
When men say “most women are crazy, but not you, you’re so cool” the subtext is not, “I love you, be the mother to my children.” The subtext is “do not step out of line, here.” If you get close enough to the men who say things like this, eventually, you will do something that they do not find pleasant. They will decide you are crazy, because this is something they have already decided about women in general.
Source: sparkamovement
My daughters should not have a truck grabbed out of their hands by an adult and handed to a male cousin because, “This is a boy toy anyway.”
My son shouldn’t be ridiculed because his favorite color is pink.
Source: whoneedsfeminism
Feminism isn’t to empower the female, it is to empower femininity as a social ideal/role/archetype. Feminism is to empower the male to have feminine traits, to allow a society that gives the male (and the female) allowance and respect to be feminine, because femininity is not BAD. It is not shameful.
I think the biggest issue is that too many people see feminism as a way to empower the female with masculinity, and masculinity only.
Masculinity has too long been seen as the “better” or the “default,” and because it is seen as the only way for men to be, the “encroachment of strong women” is creating a bad knee-jerk reaction.Feminism aims for gender equality by first lifting femininity to a status that is equal to masculinity. By allowing men and women to experience it in full. Because it’s not a lesser thing.
My friend’s commentary on Feminism (via faith-in-filth)
(my friend blogged about our conversation too LOL :D)
Source: faith-in-filth
Feminism is
Feminism isn’t to empower the female, it is to empower femininity as a social ideal/role/archetype.
Feminism is to empower the male to have feminine traits, to allow a society that gives the male (and the female and anyone in between) allowance and respect to be feminine, because femininity is not BAD.
It is not shameful.
The biggest issue is that too many people see feminism as a way to empower the female with masculinity, and masculinity only.
Masculinity has too long been seen as the “better” or the “default,” and because it is seen as the only way for men to be, the “encroachment of strong women” is creating a bad knee-jerk reaction that is completely counter-productive to the cause.
Feminism aims for gender equality by first lifting femininity to a status that is equal to masculinity.
By allowing men and women to experience it in full.
Because femininity is not a lesser thing.
