Dye me like a Sunset

My family gives me crap for not wearing Hijab, yet my friends are always surprised at how angry and passionate I get over issues of Hijabi women being denied entrance places or being discriminated against.
A lot of times, I’m asked “Don’t you hate wearing them? Why are you so upset?” 

The short answer would be: I believe in choice.

No one should be denied the choice to wear one, or denied anything for how they dress.
But…No one should have an obligation to a piece of cloth.

“There is no compulsion in religion.”

And, here comes the long answer:

No where in the Qur’an does it give us step-by-step instructions on how to dress.
The word hijab does not mean “a scarf worn around a woman’s head to hide her hair and/or beauty.”
Hijab means “modesty.”
If you choose to interpret modesty as a headscarf, all the power to you.
If you see the beauty and power in the Hijab, all the power to you!
I believe in it as well. I know that safe feeling of wearing one.

But I don’t choose to wear the Hijab.
Why?
If I believe in it, so why don’t I wear the Hijab?

There is a sense of social responsibility in being a person.
Any kind of person.
Whether to represent your religion, ethnicity, country, or any demographic you belong to, there IS a responsibility you owe to the people you identify with.

I’m a Queer, Chinese American Muslim.
I turn heads.
People look at me for the way I dress.
I wear men’s cologne. 
My face and voice are androgynous, but people who look close enough, listen close enough, can tell I’m female.
But the way I talk is crass and boyish, I laugh loud and curse plenty.
I’m not an obedient “model minority.”
I’m not a quiet, Asian girl. 

So when I bust out my prayer mat, go completely silent as I lower my head, and press my forehead into the ground…
People stare.
And the courageous will ask me…
“…You’re Muslim?”

And in that moment, I see their misconceptions shattering.
They say “You don’t look Muslim…”
I say “Tell me what a Muslim looks like, and I’ll tell you what a Christian looks like. I’ll tell you how a Jew looks, or an Atheist, or a Buddhist. Did you expect me to wear a headscarf? My religion is more than a garment, more than how I dress, more than who I choose to love, more than the color of my skin.”

The Hijab has benefits, and I know women who have changed minds because of their headscarf. I support their choice.
However, I have seen people change their opinion just by looking at me, talking to me, and that feeling is powerful.
That empowerment is my choice.